Signs of abuse | Don't let it go!

Anonymous : I was sexually abused throughout my childhood up to 10th grade by my uncle who I loved more than I could ever love my dad. Uncle loved me so much. He'd forget he has two sons of his own. He got me gifts, chocolates, took care of me, made me laugh, tickled the life out of me sometimes. I just remember being happy whenever he was around. Until the day I realized his hugs were tighter and had frequency increased. He'd make me sit on his lap if we traveled by bus or auto rickshaw. I kept wondering why wouldn't he shift his ‘wallet’ because it poked me every time I sat. He'd make his younger son sit on a separate seat but made sure I sat on his lap.

Being a naive innocent girl who craved love from anyone, thought he's just being affectionate and I loved him to doubt his intentions. In the morning I'd often wake up feeling that someone had touched me. Always thought it was a dream.

Then one night, when I couldn't sleep, I saw uncle approach my bed. I pretended to be asleep. He patted my cheeks and kissed my forehead. I was so happy because that's how parents were shown in Hollywood movies. I wished my dad showed such affection. But all these thoughts vanished when uncle kissed me on my lips. I was frozen. I did twitch a bit. But uncle thought I was still sleeping. So he continued his dirty work. He touched my chest and everywhere else. I twitched several times. But he didn't budge. When he felt my sister waking up, he left the room.

I used to study late night a day before the exams , so after I came from school i’d straight away go to sleep without changing and sleep on the bed. After an hour, I stirred awake, saw someone's face above me, I thought I was dreaming (I always had vivid dreams, every time I slept), it was him, my head was on his lap. He patted my head and told me everything is fine, sleep love. I was awake for maybe 10 seconds because I hadn't sleep the previous night. Eyelids were heavy and I was drowsy to pay attention to the danger.

I still don't know what he did to me then. Following happened in 10th grade. I used to lock my room and study. One afternoon I unlocked my room to find something to eat, and I see him coming from the other direction, he entered the room and locked it. He got fruits for me and made me have them. He told me no ones in the house. I had a geometry box near me, I pretended to tidy my table and grabbed the compass.

He kept talking and came very close to me. He touched my hair and praised me. His hands traveled down. That time i tried using the compass to make him stay away. But I was 4′9″ and he was 6′2″ and retired from the navy. He was strong and muscular. In a swift he took the compass from me and slapped me hard enough that I fell on the floor. He picked me up by my hair and pushed me on the bed. Twisted my arms, grabbed my face and continued to hit me more. All this time he covered my mouth. When I had given up, he simply performed his night routine in the day, with some more unspeakable things. This time I saw what he did. Felt it. Everywhere. Now I understood why there were red spots of my neck and shoulders. Why the dreams felt so real. Why this man I loved was a demon in disguise.

After he fulfilled his carnal desires, he picked me up like a kid and dumped me on the bathroom floor and told me to clean up before anyone came. Or else he'd do the same with my sister. I loved my sister more than anything in the world and wouldn't want anything to happen to her. So I became numb, emotionless, my soul had died and I was just a pile of flesh and bones.

No one knows this till date. Everyone thinks i’m just this hardcore introvert who isn't interested in anything. I’m just waiting for this pile of flesh and bones to deteriorate.

I’d sincerely request all Parents, siblings, teachers to look for signs of abuse. Like the change of someone’s personality overnight, some adult’s in explainable affection towards your child irrespective of the gender. Please take care of the kids, because such abuse could stay with them forever and affect their adult life badly. If you have to make a choice between family or child, please without doubt choose your child. I promise your child will make you his hero for standing up for him. I know family relationships are highly respected in India, but you HAVE TO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR CHILDREN.

This article is collected from quora